


The Truth

by bugtruth



Category: The Outer Worlds (Video Game)
Genre: Age Difference, Anger, Angst, Aspen just has a Thing for older men, But I'll tag it just in case, Canon-Typical Violence, Dirty Thoughts, Drinking, Drunkenness, Fights, Fluff, I hope my depiction is respectful!, Is that a tag??, Jealousy, Kleptomania, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Character Death, Night Terrors, Non-Consensual Flirting, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Roughhousing, Secret Identity, Trauma, don't worry guys Aspen is late 20s, i think it's more, idk what to tag for that, if anyone has any objections or tips lemme know, it's max pre scylla soooo, kind of, mild tbh, more of a lover's quarrel really, theyre both adults
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:41:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26035066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bugtruth/pseuds/bugtruth
Summary: The Captain of the Unreliable finally decides to come clean to his crew about who he really is after a drunken tiff with Max.
Relationships: Male Captain/Maximillian DeSoto, The Captain/Maximillian DeSoto
Comments: 2
Kudos: 44





	1. Fuck Max

Aspen grumbled, nursing the bottle of Spectrum Vodka beside him, downing one shot and immediately pouring another. Stupid Max. Stupid Chaney. Stupid book. Stupid weird science religion. Stupid _himself_ for getting involved. Scowling at his own reflection in the mirror behind the bar in Fallbrook, Aspen downed that shot as well, starting to feel that familiar warm buzz surge through his body. How many had that been… five? Seven? He hadn't been counting, just stormed into the bar, slammed his Bit cartridge on the counter, and ordered a full bottle of Spectrum Vodka to himself and a shot glass. Before he came to Halcyon, he had hated alcohol, but now it was the fastest way to dull the feeling of being launched into the Aether with no helmet. Aspen had always thought of it as "The Drift", and it was his lifelong enemy; feeling aimless, not knowing what to do or where to go. Torn from the anchors that normally kept him at least _somewhat_ level-headed, and spiraling into the darkness within himself.

And he sure needed some reprieve from that right now.

Maybe it had been a little rash to send Felix back to the ship and stalk off to the bar before listening to Max, but… he had trusted him, despite everything being backwards in this system. And Aspen was so, so tired of being the better man. His entire journey through Halcyon was one where he had to be in full control, to not let his emotions get away from him as he stumbled around this mess of a colony. Well, _fuck_ that. Aspen deserved to have time to get angry. And boy, was he fucking _furious._ Slamming down another two shots in succession, he took a minute to examine the way his face reflected in his shot glass, and realized that Max would be pissed if he got himself shitfaced in Fallbrook. So Aspen grimaced and poured himself another. Fuck Max. Aspen was the Captain of his own ship, he didn't have to listen to _Max._

_But you shooould…_

Sang a little voice in the back of his mind, and even if somewhere deep down he knew it was right, he decided to finish off the bottle to get it to shut the fuck up. He had trusted Max, and Max had _lied_ to him. What made it even worse was that Aspen had heard that little voice back then, too, when he first met Max. Oh, how it sang.

_He's lying..._

But Aspen didn't want to believe it, refused to. He spent many a night speaking with the older Vicar to better understand his crewmate, thinking this entire time that Max was just looking for someone to translate his book. Instead he'd just used him for his ship so he could get to Chaney and beat the shit out of him. Incidentally, they had found out there _was_ someone who could translate the book, but Aspen had stalked away to the bar before Max had a chance to start a conversation with him. If Max had lied about that… what else was he lying about? Could Aspen even trust Max? With Phineas being a wanted fugitive, that was a real dilemma.

Chewing on his bottom lip, Aspen slowed down and drank half of his poured shot, mulling over the very real possibility of kicking Max out of his crew. Max had been with Aspen since the beginning, joining right after he met Parvati, eager to find someone who could read that book for him. Had given him pointers on how to shoot and aim better, explained how things worked in this colony, listened to his fears about Adelaide and Edgewater. Aspen didn't exactly _care_ that Max came here to beat the crap out of someone. There was a whole list of people Aspen would beat the shit out of given half an opportunity, but what upset him is that Max had looked him in the eye these past months of travel, and lied to him the entire time. After he began to get suspicious, he had asked him outright; 'Max, is going to Fallbrook about something else?' Noticing the way the corner of Max's mouth twitched, he had brushed it off as offense when Max had met his eyes and replied quietly 'So you think I'm lying to you, Captain?'

"Well, I sure do now, old man." Aspen huffed, staring into the cherry-red alcohol. "Got anything to say about that, fucker?" He goaded the voice quietly, far enough from the other patrons in his corner that nobody would think he was starting shit.

_You don't want him to go._

Sneering at the smug lilt in the voice, he had a brief thought it sounded like Max when he knew he was right. "Shut the fuck up already." He slurred under his breath at the voice in the back of his mind. Conscience, intuition, maybe some kind of latent psychosis brought on by his seventy year freeze, but whatever it was he was ready to fight that bastard voice. Finishing that shot, he grumbled again as he saw the bottle was empty. Whatever. He could get another. Flagging down the bartender, he ordered the red alcohol that tasted like gasoline and went down just as well, settling into his stool at the counter. Fuck. Max. He could get as shitfaced as he wanted to at Fallbrook.


	2. The Name Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max interrupts his Captain drinking, and finally works up the nerve to say what everyone knew.

Running a hand through his hair, Max sighed, standing in the middle of the street at Fallbrook. When he had noticed his Captain had taken his leave early, Max sneered at Chaney one more time before turning on his heel to find his Captain. Max had to talk to him, he had felt him bristling beside him the entire confrontation with Chaney, though he hadn't noticed when the young man had slipped away. A knot began winding itself in his chest, thinking about the way the back of his neck prickled as the Captain glared hurt daggers into the back of his head. As the fury that filled him at the sight of Chaney dissolved, he had realized he was facing an angry employer, who _might_ just decide he didn't want him on his crew anymore. Cold settled across his back as he thought about how he had lied to his Captain, and that it might get him kicked out for his trouble.

Ever since he had realized that his Captain was… different, he had started studying all the odd things about him that Max couldn't figure out. His Captain had introduced himself as Captain Alex Hawthorne of the Unreliable, but before he had said the name, there had been a slight hesitation. As if he was going to say something else and decided against it, and Max found out why when they docked at The Groundbreaker. The man they were traveling with, was _not_ Alex Hawthorne, Captain of the Unreliable. ADA seemed to regard him as such, and he had Hawthorne's pilot identification card, but the picture that had been registered to Alex Hawthorne's file in the terminal on The Groundbreaker was not of their Captain. Then there was his strange fascination with The Hope, a colony ship that had been lost en route to Halcyon seventy years ago. Most thought it myth, but there were those who whispered in hushed voices, usually in bars or shady back alleys. Some said The Hope was real. And indeed it had been, as Max had soon found out from his Captain digging through every scrap of information he could find pertaining to the ship. 

Max's list of oddities with his Captain only grew as time went on; his disdain for the Corporations that ruled over Halcyon, for instance. Ok, Max admitted it wasn't the strangest thing about him, but the way he talked about them… it suggested he hadn't lived his entire life under them, his eyes betraying appalled anger at every Corporate injustice he saw, instead of the defeat of being born and raised under Corporate law. Then there was the matter of how every now and then he'd let out a strange phrase or word he seemed to use as a curse that Max hadn't heard before, always when he was overwhelmed with emotion, like his previous uses of 'Law-damn it' had been a conscious effort on his part. It was obvious his Captain was not from Halcyon. A long-haul freighter Captain, maybe? But then why the secrecy?

Another was how unfamiliar with a weapon he had been when they first met. Max had had to teach the young man how to shoot multiple weapons, brace himself for their kickback, or even how to accurately pick out a target with the sight. He flinched every time it fired the first few times Max had watched him shoot at empty bottles outside the Unreliable, preparing to clash with the marauders they would no doubt be facing. An independent freighter Captain who didn't know how to use a weapon was unthinkable. One who had thrown up the first time he had shot a marauder in the head was even more so.

It had been Miss Holcomb who confided in him about that particular instance. The first time she and their Captain had explored outside the walls together, he had managed to scrounge up an old hunting rifle, hiding behind some abandoned crates to line up his shot. Done in mere seconds as he picked off the forms in the distance, it had been relatively bloodless and distanced, but it seemed to unsettle him still. Parvati had told Max once that she found it odd how afterwards, his hands shook and he had excused himself to retch off to the side of a building. You would think that the experienced Spacer that he had introduced himself as would have had a stronger stomach in the face of shooting marauders; the bastards _would_ eat you nine times out of ten if you hesitated and got captured, and though they once were human, they had pumped themselves so full of drugs that it melted whatever self had previously existed in them. Now all that remained was beastly instinct and feral bloodlust.

To say the least, Max found their Captain interesting. Everywhere he went, change followed, as if he drew people to him with his magnetic grin and endearing simple-mindedness. Even those annoying little ticks of his usually were brushed off in favor of his lopsided grin, the scar that ran from his left cheek to just below his lower lip crinkling up at his mark as he held an interesting knick-knack he had swiped from them. He was like a Pteroray, stealing whatever shiny trinket caught his eye that moment to cart it off to the ship, or give it to one of his crew members. Max had been downright appalled to learn he had nicked an OSI puzzle cube from Sanjar Nandi's desk in Stellar Bay and given it to him. Though, Sanjar didn't seem to mind when Max approached him about it, laughing as he told Max the Captain had been absolutely enamored with it the day before. He had even asked Sanjar to help him with the puzzle, and his eyes had sparkled when he finally figured it out, so Sanjar just brushed it off when he saw him walk out with it.

But how much of his charm stemmed from real naivety, and how much he reflected back at others to dazzle them into false-security, Max didn't know. There was certainly a side to his Captain that he didn't want anyone to know. Something that troubled him late into the night, making dark circles hover under his eyelids. The first time Max had been awoken to a scream, he thought that something had happened to his Captain, rushing into his room to find him sweat-soaked and shaking. Eyes staring at some distant point, as if seeing through Max himself and the Unreliable to places he could only know in his Captain's nightmares. There were many times Max wondered what frightened him so badly at night. Whatever it was, he hadn't spoken to Max about it at all, choosing to limit their conversations to the tasks at hand or letting Max talk to him about OSI. But he never talked about himself, and Max wanted to know, but was unsure to ask as his mind always drifted to that first night where he had looked at Max and whispered something that sent shivers up his spine. Almost like he was repeating a mantra to keep himself from falling apart, still on the edges of wake and sleep.

_"Ashes… dead. The Garden is gone."_

Max had assumed it stemmed from how unnerved the Captain had been to shut down the Botanical Labs. His fingers had been bleeding for days from his habit of picking at his cuticles, bottom lip constantly chewed, and he had asked more than a few times for Max's insight into the issue. That was back before they had gotten the power regulator, when the view outside their windows was still Emerald Vale, grounded where they stood. Their first few days were spent sleeping on bed rolls on the floor, listening to the Captain and Parvati discuss everything and anything into the long hours of the night. Max could remember many an hour the Captain spent pacing holes in the grounded ship's floors, asking Parvati or Max an endless barrage of questions before they finally settled on a solution. He hadn't wanted to shut down the Botanical Labs, preferring to leave them as they were, but he didn't want to cut power to Edgewater either. Instead, he had convinced Reed Tobson to step down, and let Adelaide take over Edgewater to continue her garden. Max found that admirable, to bring both sides together into one community, building to better itself in the face of the strange changes that always seemed to follow the Captain.

At times, though, his Captain had quite an adamant streak that got him into trouble. Like now, for instance, as Catherine Malin approached him from her office.

"Hey, preacher. Your boy's up there drinking the place dry and loudly talking about things that'd get him disappeared if he weren't in Fallbrook." Tilting her chin at the stairs up to the bar, she smirked as she leveled her gaze at Max, a knowing glint in her eye as she shrugged. "I told the little bastard he should have stopped after three bottles of Spectrum Vodka on his lonesome, but he told me to fuck off then ordered a Purpleberry Liqueur." Chuckling to herself, she looked back down at her datapad, turning on her heel back to her office. "Might wanna grab him before someone gets into his pockets… or he gets alcohol poisoning, one. It'd be a shame to lose that one, I actually kinda like the kid."

Max snorted, feeling his face turn up into a scowl. Ah, so they were doing this again, were they? Sighing as he shook his head, trying to keep himself cool and composed, Max made his way up the stairs to the bar and braced himself for the worse. His Captain was upset, most likely about Chaney, but having a shit-faced stranger with thousands of potentially deadly connections was _not_ something he wanted to deal with right now. It wasn't that he made an ass of himself when drunk, it's that he talked entirely too damn much, or picked the wrong pocket and started a bar brawl.

They had done this dance more times than he could count, before Aspen had settled into the responsibility of his position as crew Captain. He'd gotten caught quite a few times in bar fights, mainly because when he wanted to, he could really piss someone off. And despite his usually calm and easygoing demeanor, if someone managed to flip the right switch, he could turn into a nightmare on two legs. Max himself had problems with anger, but what lay just underneath the surface of his Captain… well, Max had seen a brief glimpse of it when he confronted Graham about Amber Heights. Whatever rage Max held out of sight, it didn't compare to what his Captain tried to hide. He was surprised the Iconoclasts hadn't shot him on sight when he stomped into Graham's office with Zora and slugged him before they had gotten a word out, hands tangling into the scarf around his neck and slamming him into the wall. The feral, cold fury that tinted his eyes as Ms. Blackwood tried to pull him off of her leader had been foreign to Max until that point, as Aspen held Graham's gaze and let out a poisoned hiss through clenched teeth.

 _"Was it worth it, Graham? Was it worth it to play judge, jury, and executioner to all those people? To act like you're Jesus-fuckin'-Christ arisen and_ **_you're_ ** _gonna save them from their sins? You can't even outrun your own, Graham, their lives are on_ **_your_ ** _hands. And no amount of meditation will fucking change that, you_ **_murderer."_ **

Though Max and Zora had managed to pull him back long enough to tell Graham it was over, that Miss Blackwood would lead the Iconoclasts from then on, Graham had been a lost cause. He could never be sure if it was the Captain's outburst that struck a cord with Graham, or if it had been the way Zora stood by his side and agreed with him, but Aspen's gun had been the first one out when Graham let out a snarl and pulled his weapon.

_"I'll never surrender the Iconoclasts to the likes of you, you'll have to kill me fir--"_

Graham never finished his sentence, as he found a round of light ammo between his eyes and collapsed to his knees, the Captain's gaze unreadable as smoke drifted up from his Light Pistol MK2. Zora's mouth dropped open, blinking as she realized the Captain had shot Graham dead, his corpse face down in a growing pool of blood. Swallowing, she had placed an unsteady hand on the Captain's shoulder, as if to hold herself up. "What Graham did was wrong… but he was still the person who started this movement." Sighing, she had pressed her lips into a thin line as she stared at Graham, obviously trying to hold back her emotions for the good of the Iconoclasts. "Maybe there was another option… I don't know. I just wish this had ended differently."

As Max watched, all the anger in his Captain flowed back into that bottle he hid deep inside him, eyes turning tired and slightly wet as he looked at the body of his friend. Max hadn't been too fond of Graham himself, but the Captain had found a strange camaraderie with the man, and had been devastated to find out Graham was behind the Amber Heights massacre. He could still remember the way he had grit his teeth and slammed his fist into the side of the Unreliable late at night in his room, seeking Max's counsel on the issue, but unbelieving that his friend would do such a thing. "Me too…" He had murmured, eyes going back to that strange place he escaped to in times like those, holstering his pistol with a shaking hand. "Me too…"

Ever since, Max had found his small tantrums he threw when he had been interrupted drinking to be small in comparison. Secretly, he hoped that he would never be on the receiving end of that anger.

"So, how do ya know it's not real!?"

Ah. Speaking of which, there was his Captain's voice on the rise, no doubt with his small chest puffed out and all drunken bravado. Probably at another man twice his size with arms as big as his head. The fucking idiot. Hurrying up the last few stairs, Max found him not in the middle of a fight, but with his lower lip poked out and glaring indignantly at someone sitting beside him. The other man was obviously from Byzantium, clothes way too nice to be from anywhere but, with a mouth full of glaring white teeth that he turned into a predatory grin at the Captain's pout. Max didn't particularly care if the Captain sought a partner, but what involuntarily raised his hackles was the way the Captain seemed _way_ too drunk to consent to anything, eyelids fluttering as he tried to stay awake with his cheek resting on his knuckles. 

"Because, everyone knows that old story. Moms tell it to kids to keep them from acting out, ya know?" Laughing as the Captain scowled, he shifted to lean on _his_ arm, free hand curling around the Captain's waist. "I mean. A whole colony ship lost, never to be seen again? That just doesn't happen." That grin returned, and Max found himself comparing him to a Raptidon, all teeth and hungry excitement. "Besides, why are you getting so worked up about it? I just brought it up as a side note of my story. I thought we were getting somewhere, you seemed to be laughing an awful lot."

Max felt his blood boil. Law damn it all. He had told that kid too many times _not_ to talk about the Hope. To take someone with him to the bar, because he got stupid when he was drunk. Sloppy. If the Board even caught _wind_ of the things he was saying… Max was afraid to even finish the thought. In Halcyon, there were fates worse than death to be found. But it was the way the man tried to idle closer to his space, despite the Captain barely able to sit up, that made a hard lump of fury close in on his composure. It wasn't until the man leaned in close to whisper something in his ear, making the Captain scowl and pull away that Max found his legs again, trying to take even breaths through his nose as he made his way across the bar. However, before he was able to get there, the man had buried his face in his Captain's neck, giving it a rough bite as his Captain grumbled a complaint and tried to pull away. The man simply laughed and pulled him closer.

 _Oh,_ **_fuck_ ** _no._

That was when he snapped, closing the distance in mere seconds and tossing the young man from Byzantium off his stool and onto his ass, and in one fluid motion he had hauled his Captain to his feet by the scruff of his neck. Grabbing his Bit cartridge, Max held him steady as he walked him across the bar to the stairs. The Captain seemed too shocked to react, or maybe he had just done this enough times to know not to fight him drunk on a stairway.

"Max! What the fuck!" Finally coming to his senses on the second landing, his Captain squirmed out of his grasp, back slamming into the opposite wall as he stumbled and scowled at Max.

"I should be asking you that, Captain, you can barely fucking stand upright." Max hissed, trying and failing to tamp down the fury that rose in his chest when he realized he had to have sent Felix back to the ship specifically to drink alone. "What in Halcyon were you thinking, getting shitfaced in Fallbrook?" What would have happened to him, had Max not arrived? Fallbrook was full of sleazebags looking for an easy lay or an easy mark, one. It was impossible to know if that man was trying to pick his pocket or cart him off to some shady out of the way place while he could barely form a coherent thought. Max realized all at once that the thought terrified him, made him want to go back to the bar and tear that man apart limb from limb.

Snorting, the Captain turned on his heel, but lurched into the wall as his feet got tangled. With a frustrated sigh, Max lead him down the steps with a firm grip to his upper arm, only letting go once they were halfway to the Fallbrook landing pad. Wrenching himself away from Max, the Captain glared at him childishly, making Max roll his eyes and push past him.

"Come on, while you can still stand. I'm not carrying you back to the ship." Coldly, Max called back over his shoulder.

"You lied to me about Chaney." The Captain snarled, stomping over to Max and pulling him around by his shoulder. "You lied to me about that, what else are you lyin' ta me about, _Vicar Max?"_ Max knew that was what this had been about in the first place, but he still felt a swirl of anger break through his icy calm, the slurred accusatory words pulling a spike of indignation from himself. "If you lied to me about finding a scholar to translate a fuckin… fuckin book, for Chrissake, can I even trust you to tell the truth about anything else?" Roughly, the Captain shoved him.

Max scowled as he took a step back. "I wouldn't talk about lying if I were you, Captain." Smugly, he taunted the younger man, knowing that would even the playing field.

A dark look fell over his features, jaw squaring as he bared his teeth at Max. "What in the goddamn fucking _hell_ are you talking about?" Taking a furious step toward him, Max tried and failed to think of a time he had seen his Captain this angry, instead catching his hands as he went to shove him again.

Leveling their gazes, Max tugged him around the corner of the pad and released his hands, away from the few patrons looking oddly at the scene. "I saw a picture of Captain Hawthorne on the terminal on The Groundbreaker. With all due respect, _Captain_ , you are _not_ Captain Alex Hawthorne of the Unreliable." Max knew it was vindictive and slightly cruel of him the moment it came out of his mouth, but he was tired of this. Tired of not knowing anything about who the fuck was piloting their ship. But he was in no way prepared for the shattered look that took over his face, eyes going to that far-off place from his nightmares. Max found guilt clawing its way through his chest, and immediately wished he could take it back.

"You're a real dick when you want to be, Max." He said quietly, sniffing and looking away from him. "... But I guess you have a point. I lied to you, too... Ok." Nodding, he crossed his arms, looking back up at Max. "My name isn't Alex Hawthorne, but I _am_ Captain of the Unreliable. And I'm too fucking drunk for this conversation. I'll… take you someplace tomorrow. Somewhere I can explain everything, and you'll believe me if I tell you."

Sighing, Max placed a hand on his shoulder, feeling a wave of relief wash over him. Despite his outburst, he really didn't intend it to hurt the Captain as much as it did. He figured maybe he had stolen his ship or keycard or something, but Max automatically knew there was a story there the moment his Captain's eyes seemed a bit more watery than usual. "I apologize, Captain. That was… unfair of me. And I apologize for Chaney. You took me onto your ship as your crewmate, you extended me the kindness of taking me all the way here, and offered me your friendship. And… I used you to get to him. I can assure you it is the only thing I've lied to you about thus far. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me." Looking into his eyes, Max tried to look as sincere as he possibly could, which was… hard, with his disposition.

That seemed to comfort the Captain a bit, as he shifted from foot to foot, but got overbalanced and almost fell over. Max crooked a smile, managing to catch him before he hit the ground. Cheeks flushing, the younger man held onto his arm to right himself, swallowing. "I… I do. I understand, and I forgive you. I just… it made me angry, and I was… probably being a little bit unfair to not hear your side of things." Rubbing the back of his neck, he shook his head again, letting Max hold him upright. As if talking coherently wasn't already hard enough, the world around him started to spin. "How about… as of tomorrow, we don't lie to each other anymore?"

"That's a deal, Captain." After a moment, he paused, searching his face. Then, almost as an afterthought, he asked a question that had been on his mind for a while. "Captain… what is your real name?" Gently, he placed a hand on his Captain's side to steady him, his grip curling into Max's sleeve as his knees wobbled.

The younger man blinked, leaning further into his crew mate as Max situated him into his side, draping his arm over his neck. "Aspen. Aspen Adams." A small smile came over his features, and he shook his head. "Geez. It's been so long since I've said my own name…"

Max chuckled, letting his Captain steady his walk on him as they made their way to the landing pad ramp. "Let's get back to the ship, Captain Adams. I daresay you drank a bit too much."

"Thas' what _you_ say, preacher-man." Intentionally slurring his words, he crooked an antagonizing smirk Max's way, who felt the curious sensation of his heart lurching.


	3. An Embarrassing Realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aspen comes to a realization during a normal morning on the Unreliable. Or, well, as normal as one could get aboard the Unreliable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felix is babie, and Aspen is so very, painfully gay for Max.

The morning came sooner than Aspen had wanted, light falling in just the right way across his face to make him regret ever even thinking about drinking. Letting out a long and drawn out groan, Aspen covered his head with his pillow, one leg still hanging out of his bunk. Last night had been one of the rare times he slept relatively peacefully, but the headache ringing through his brain pan was about to ruin that. His mouth tasted vaguely of Purpleberry-laced vomit, and he grimaced, internally adding Rizzo's to his shitlist for making the worst aftertaste for alcohol ever. 'Aftertaste the rainbow' his left ass cheek.

Pushing himself up on his arms, he grumbled and cracked his back, before flopping back into the mattress. He didn't want to get up, even though he had promised Max to take him to Phineas' orbital laboratory today. Maybe it hadn't been the best idea to drink himself to death on vodka and liqueur the night before. But at least the entire debacle with Chaney had relatively ended, even if he did have to give Max his answers today. And the rest of the crew, too. It was only fair to tell them who he was, since they had come so far with him, and saved his ass too many times to count.

Managing to pull himself from the gravity of his mattress, Aspen sighed and ran a hand through his hair, pulling on a loose tank. He usually only wore boxers to bed, and last night was no exception, though his pants  _ had  _ been drunkenly caught around his ankle when he woke up. After he put Adelaide in charge of Edgewater, she had given him a watch to sell, but he hadn't had the heart to. Instead, he put it on a chain and usually wore it around his neck, a reminder that sometimes all everyone needed was a little change. Pulling the silver chain over his head, the watch hung against his chest, a familiar sensation that reminded him of the friends he had made in Edgewater. He always left it on the ship when he visited Fallbrook, so no one would steal it.

Walking out into the hallway with his hair still mussed from sleep, Aspen yawned and scratched his back, heading up to the kitchen to see who was awake. Not surprisingly, Max was up already, reading a book at the table over a Mock-Apple. Swallowing around the lump in his throat, Aspen saw the rest of the crew's doors were shut, and he took a deep breath. He was just a bit nervous because of their fight yesterday, wondering if it had changed things between them. Striding over to the cabinets, Aspen dug out a bag of Purpleberry Munch, plopping in the chair closest to Max.

Nodding at Aspen, Max turned the page of his book. "Captain." He greeted just like every morning. Aspen nodded back with a grumble, leaning against Max's shoulder. A smug grin rose to his face, taking a bite of his Mock-Apple. "Water would be better than sweets for a hangover." Eyes focused on the page, he chuckled when Aspen mumbled something incoherent. "How did you sleep?"

Sitting upright, Aspen rubbed his eyes and opened the bag, wincing as it crinkled a bit too loudly for his headache's tastes. "Pretty good. It's the waking up that sucks."

"Ms. Malin warned you, if I recall." Max teased.

Blowing a raspberry and sticking out his tongue at Max, Aspen turned back to his breakfast. "Yeah, yeah." As the quiet settled between them, Aspen looked back up at Max, reading on as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. Maybe it was. His slate colored eyes followed the words on the page, utterly absorbed as he leaned on the table with his elbows. Aspen found his eyes drifting to Max's lips, watching the way they curled around the Mock-Apple to take a bite. A sudden thought popped into his head, that they looked soft and plush, _very_ kissable--

Startling from his train of thought, Aspen turned away from Max, flushing pink as he busied himself with digging through his bag to seem natural. He did  _ not  _ just think about kissing Max. No way. Swallowing, he shook off the strange feeling welling inside his chest, taking another look at Max. Maybe if he confirmed that Max was still Max--that is, the same smug bastard of a Vicar with a checkered past that he saw him as in the beginning--his thought would never have happened. A fluke. Something that popped up, went away, and never came again.

Max was still absorbed in his book, seemingly oblivious to Aspen's very real dilemma troubling him. The lines of his face looked softer than normal, as they often did first thing in the morning, and the way he leaned his arms against the table clearly defined his muscles in his casual sleepwear. His prison-yard Tossball days still showed on his arms, and Aspen knew from experience that none of it was for show; Max was strong and in amazing physical shape for someone from Halcyon. A lump rose to Aspen's throat, involuntarily thinking Max could probably lift him and hold him up for quite a while, which inevitably lead to the idea of his strong arms caging Aspen in place against the wall. Which  _ then  _ cycled into the thought of Max's plush lips pressing rough, opened-mouthed kisses into his collarbone, hips angling to press tantalizingly against his own--

Shit. Shit,  _ shit,  _ **_shit._ **

Stealthily, Aspen snapped his gaze to a distant spot on the wall, crossing his legs as his cheeks flared. He could  _ not  _ have the hots for Max. No  _ fucking  _ way. Max was almost twice his age, and more than that, he was a  _ priest.  _ But the more he examined his memories of him advancing on Chaney, all burning rage and ready to come to blows with the skeevy man, the more Aspen couldn't deny that it had been  _ very  _ hot. Absentmindedly, Aspen wondered if Max's  _ 'violently enthusiastic disposition'  _ didn't extend to more personal affairs as well. Would he slam Aspen against the mattress, hold him down and take out every ounce of frustration that he usually held so tight in his shoulders out on  _ him _ \--

_ No, no, no, no! _

It didn't matter if Max was hot or not, he was a  _ Vicar,  _ and these were very un-Vicar-ly thoughts that were swirling in Aspen's head. Swallowing, he looked back towards the crew's doors, wondering when someone would wake up and save him this embarrassment. But it was no such luck as Max raised an eyebrow in his direction.

"Are you ever going to eat those?" An amused grin stretched across his features, and Aspen felt his heart flip in his chest, red flooding his cheeks.

"My, uh, my stomach is a little upset, still." He replied, shifting a bit in his seat.

Standing, Max threw away the core of the fruit before taking his place again in his book. But this time, he caught Aspen looking at him, and he placed his bookmark between the pages. Closing it and putting it on the table, Max turned to Aspen, studying his suddenly nervous features. "Is something wrong, Captain?" He asked gently, watching the way he fidgeted under his gaze. Max wondered if it was about Chaney and their confrontation yesterday, though his Captain didn't seem particularly upset.

Meeting his eyes, Aspen swallowed down his nerves and smiled charmingly. "No, I'm ok. Just been thinking about stuff, ya know?"

Nodding, Max thought for a moment, before he leaned back. "About us?"

Starting, Aspen's eyes widened as he looked at Max. Had he read his mind? Caught him staring at him? Was it how he crossed his legs? What gave away his attraction--

"Captain… I understand if you feel I should leave the crew. It won't upset me." Maybe it would, but he would get over it. It was his Captain's decision if he felt Max should leave, and he would honor it. A slight pang of dejection wound its way through his chest at the thought. Despite his slight annoyance at times, he had genuinely enjoyed adventuring with Aspen and the rest of the crew, finding a niche that he occupied among them that was almost perfect for Max.

Furiously shaking his head, Aspen rubbed at the back of his neck. "No, no! That's not it, it's just…" Cheeks heating up even more as he floundered around his mixed relief and guilt, he discarded the bag on the table. "I'm nervous. I don't want anyone to be angry at me for keeping this from them." Hastily, he rushed out the possibly life-saving sentence. Aspen would downright  _ die  _ if Max figured the real reason why he kept staring at him.

"Keeping what from who?" Felix's voice asked from the doorway, yawning and rubbing at his eyes, pushing his shirt up to scratch absentmindedly at his stomach.

Aspen welcomed the distraction, turning to look at Felix. "I was going to wait until everyone's awake, but… I'm going to tell you guys who I am. I'm taking you to Phineas' laboratory."

Felix looked blankly at his Captain, obviously not recognizing the first name, while Max's brows furrowed in recognition. "You mean Phineas Vernon Welles?" Max clarified, narrowing his eyes in disbelief. "The scientist deemed a wanted terrorist by the Board?" At his words, Felix's eyes sparkled. Of course Felix would find that prospect elating, but Max's unease at the thought was blossoming in the back of his mind. What was his Captain doing with a man like that?

"You mean we're going to a  _ real _ mad scientist's secret lab?" He asked excitedly, a grin splitting his features, bouncing on the balls of his feet in place. "Oh, this is  _ so  _ going in our serial, Boss."

The edges of Aspen's lips twitched as he tried not to smile. "You're going to have to retcon a  _ lot _ of my backstory. I've been keeping some things from you all, mostly because I was afraid to get you involved, but I think you deserve to know what's happening." Their "serial" had been a running joke for a while; everyone was in it, and what they didn't know about their crewmates, they filled in themselves. Naturally, the Captain was the focus of nearly every long-term mystery in the plot, and they had spent all night cycle once thinking up what backstory they would reveal for him. Together, they had come up with something that was so far from the truth, Aspen almost found it laughable.

"So you're  _ not  _ a Monarch-born-and-raised outlaw Spacer born of a one-time illicit love affair with Minister Clarke and a charming pirate mother who once did business with the Board?" Felix asked, playful grin growing as Max shook his head.

"Mr. Millstone, where in Halcyon did you come by that notion?" Giving the Captain a rueful smile, Max opened his book up again, trying to settle the worry eating at his chest. Just  _ what  _ was his Captain involved in, and what toll had it been taking on him while they weren't looking?

"Boss told me." He replied with a shrug. "So, how well do you know this Phineas guy? What's he like?" Taking the other seat beside Aspen, he turned it around and sat on it backwards, resting his arms on the back. "I mean, like, I know he's a cool outlaw on the run from the Board an' all, but what else do you know about him?"

Laughing, Aspen shook his head. "Not a lot. All I can say is he's not what you're expecting, Felix. But I think you'll like him, he's right up your alley." Snorting, he reclined back in his seat, letting Felix steal his bag of Purpleberry Munch. "Word of warning, he's a bit… private, and… wary. He's probably not going to like me bringing you guys there, but… I feel like it's the only way you'll believe what's been going on." Shrugging, he leaned back into his chair, relaxing a bit at Felix's calm demeanor.

Nodding, Felix paused as he swallowed the snack in his mouth. "What have you been keeping from us?" He asked curiously, slight hesitation in his voice, but in a nonchalant manner. Almost as if he had asked him for the weather, and not what secret their Captain had been hiding from them.

Pausing, Aspen felt the rusty gears of his mind turning. Should he tell him? What would he say when he knew he had lied about his identity? Taking a deep breath, he looked into Felix's comforting cocoa-colored eyes, before looking down at his lap. "I'm not really Alex Hawthorne, but it's hard to explain..." Aspen replied vaguely. "I'll explain everything at Phineas'."

"Oh, I knew that already." Casually, Felix began to dig in the bag again, looking for a bigger piece of Munch, shaking the bag a bit as he peered into it.

_ "What?"  _ Aspen asked incredulously, mouth falling open in disbelief.

Deep brown eyes meeting Aspen's, a wry smile came to his features. "Hawthorne was a regular on The Groundbreaker, I hit him up for a job once or twice… or a few times." Shrugging, he popped another piece of the snack into his mouth, never breaking his grin at the Captain. "I figured something must have happened to him, but you got a little weird when people mentioned him, so I didn't want to bring it up. Thought it bothered you or something."

"But… but…" Blinking forlornly at Felix, he looked between his two crewmates, who both had a knowing smile on their faces. Max couldn't help but laugh a bit at how speechless his Captain was at the revelation his crew  _ trusted  _ him. "You're… not mad I lied?"

"Figured you had a good reason to." The sheer confidence that radiated from the young man towards his Captain would have been misplaced on anyone else, but the crew could always agree on one thing; their Captain was a good man, and looked out for them. If he wanted to tell them who he was, he would on his own time.

"Captain… you seem to forget that the entire time any of us has known you, you've done nothing but try your hardest to do the right thing." Max added on, placing a hand on his shoulder. He could feel the way the Captain tensed, but after a second that eased from him and he leaned into Max's grip. "Everyone has a past in Halcyon. We decided that you would tell us yours when you were ready to."

Taking a deep breath, Aspen blinked up at Max with a genuine smile, making Felix raise an eyebrow. That impish grin took over his face, and as he looked between Max and his Captain, a knowing look set across his features. "Wow, that was more heartfelt than I thought you could get, Max. Is, uh, the mom and dad thing  _ more _ than a joke?"

Max snorted with a shake of his head. "Do you… see me as a father-figure, Mr. Millstone?" He asked, taunting Felix and ignoring his  _ real  _ question.

"Who said  _ you  _ were the dad, Max?" Felix snapped back.

Rolling his eyes, Aspen ruffled Felix's hair and pulled him into a noogie, a crooked grin pulling at his features. "Boys, boys, please, I love you both equally. Just like I love  _ all  _ of our children." Looking pointedly at Max made the Vicar roll his eyes and turn back to his book, a small quirk of his lips hid behind his hand as it rested against his chin, though not quite a smile, and Aspen felt his heart jump. Max… the way he had met his eyes had made Aspen feel so, so soft, heart fluttering inside his chest like a started bird. Laughing as Felix broke free and tried to get  _ him _ into a headlock, Aspen ducked, darting from his chair to jump behind Max.

Felix grinned back, hands outstretched on either side of him, in position to leap one way or the other. "Max can't get you out of this one, Boss."

"So much for peace and quiet." Max sighed, closing his book as he headed back to his room to retrieve his clothes for the day.

"Max! You traitor!" Shouting after Max, Aspen felt his heart do another jump as Max turned back around for a split second.

"May the Law have mercy on you, Captain." The tone in which he said it was low, teasing, and Aspen cursed that hummingbird set loose in his chest. He was feeling lightheaded, and if it kept bouncing around his chest, Aspen was sure he would pass out.

Aspen, distracted by watching Max leave, was tackled to the ground by Felix. A loud thud echoed through the ship, Max rolling his eyes at the two as he passed by again and headed into the bathroom. Both laughed as they rough-housed on the floor, making ADA's level voice echo from the speaker on the table. "A reminder to all crewmembers; the number of plates in the cabinets is dwindling. Please do not break anymore."

Nyoka trudged into the kitchen still half-asleep, taking in Felix and the Captain, who had managed to get on top of Felix's back and was mussing up his hair. Snorting, she smirked before sluggishly heading for the bathroom and stopping short when she saw the door locked. "Shit! Did Max get the bathroom already?" She called to the two wrestling young men in the kitchen, and shortly thereafter Aspen let out a war-cry. "I'll take that as a yes. Dammit, guess I'm gonna be waiting a while."


	4. A Good Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aspen and ADA have a brief heart-to-circuit conversation before they head to Phineas' Orbital Lab.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't expect this to get as much attention as it has! I think I even saw someone post about it on Tumblr?? If it was, and you're reading this, I'll definitely post the other fic I wrote with a different Captain OC & Felix. They have a kind of like. Mentor/older sibling/parental figure type relationship, and I really love writing the good boy. I guess I have to like, actually pick up this fic again, lmao? For now have some Aspen & ADA interacting, because she is so fun to write (I actually decided I didn't like the blurb I had on the end so I wrote this up really quick while I revise it a bit).

It was a bit before everyone was up and awake enough to discuss where they were going, and what was going on. Mostly because of Max's infamously long bathroom routine, as a line had formed in the kitchen by the time he came out, as clean-cut and immaculate as every morning. Aspen didn't exactly  _ need  _ a shower, he could always take one when he came back; after all, Phineas always locked himself in that damned safe room as soon as he docked, so he couldn't exactly smell him anyway. So he busied himself with going back to his room to get dressed once Felix decided to take his turn in the shower, ending their goofing around. Pulling on a pair of leisure pants, he then headed into the cockpit, taking a seat in the Captain's chair.

"ADA, can you take us to Phineas' Orbital Lab?" Resting his head on his knuckles, he looked out in the Aether, watching the colors of space outside his window. Even after the months he had spent in Halcyon, he would never tire of the view outside of the Unreliable. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever imagine he would be seeing space this close, this personal. In a way, it was one of the things that made him want to stay in Halcyon, because even if the views were more spectacular or gorgeous in other colonies… this was the place he had longed to see a lifetime ago, and now he was seeing it from a perspective that he never could have attained without The Hope stalling all those years. He was thankful he was here to be able to see it.

"Captain, do you think it's wise to bring visitors to Phineas' Lab?" She asked, the digital features on her monitor frowning. "He has always stressed that it is a  _ secret  _ Orbital Lab, after all."

Letting out a sigh, Aspen shook his head. "I don't know. But they're my crew, my friends…" Running a hand over his face, he met "eyes" with ADA, completely used to talking to the digital representation of ADA by now. "I trust them. They deserve to know what we're fighting for. Why I'm doing this. Why  _ we're  _ doing this…" Wetting his lips, he looked back out over Monarch and Olympus, idly watching the moon orbiting the gas giant. "I think I can change everything for the better." He murmured. And he did. He believed it. However ironic the name The Hope was, it was one of the only things that was keeping him going now. The ship, and the feeling.

"You are only one man, Captain." ADA replied after a long pause.

"I know. But… there's hundreds of thousands of others who can help, like help people  _ for real _ , and I… I'm the only one capable of doing this." Motioning with his hand at the space outside their window, ADA knew he was referring to his mission from Phineas. Grimly, he turned back to ADA, making her "eyes" dart to the side to avoid his level gaze. Ever since she had met him, ADA found she could often read his thoughts with close to ninety-eight percent accuracy, based on the look in his eyes. To others, he was closed off, hidden. With her, he was open, trusting her to confide in… almost as if they weren't ship AI and Captain. But something… akin to friends, if circumstances like theirs could be called that. They had been through a lot together, not nearly as much as her and her previous Captain, of course. But they were close. By now, her Captain had determined he  _ would _ save Halcyon, she could tell by the unwavering commitment in his eyes. Despite it being unquantifiable in an equation… she found herself believing he would succeed through sheer willpower alone. The price he would pay might be steep, but she overrode her logic protocols and forced herself to believe he would persevere.

"But  _ are _ you capable, Captain?" She asked, a little more subdued than normal.

"I don't know. But I'll damn sure try." Aspen replied, flashing her his signature crooked grin. "Losing a bit of confidence in me since I nearly broke my arm trying to get a pack of ammo out of one of the vending machines on The Groundbreaker?" He teased.

"Do not remind me that we're still paying for that broken machine." ADA scolded, making Aspen laugh good-naturedly.

"But I sure as fuck got that box of ammo it almost gipped me for." Shifting, Aspen let out a soft breath. "Thank you, ADA.”

“For what, Captain?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.

Grinning almost ear to ear, there was a knowing glint in his eye as he looked at her screen, and she almost felt as if he was staring deep into her code and reading every line she had tried to keep secret. “For being a friend.”

ADA was silent for a few minutes, and Aspen turned to the navigation panel while he waited for her response. “You… Consider me a friend, Captain? I must remind you, I am not sentient. The personality you have been interacting with was created by myself in order to better engage Alex.”

“Yeah, but doesn’t that mean that it is indeed a ‘you’? Even if it was influenced by you watching Hawthorne and wanting to talk to him easier, you still created a personality for yourself, and I enjoy being around that personality.” Shrugging, he turned back to her and leaned back in his chair. “Ergo Ipso Facto Calypso… I consider this personality that you, the Autonomous Digital Astrogator of this vessel, created, a good friend.”

ADA flickered as if blinking, before she frowned. “I believe the phrase you used is incorrect, Captain… But thank you. If I was programmed to feel companionship… I would consider you a… ‘good friend’ as well, Captain.”

His face lit up in a grin that reached all the way to his eyes, crinkling them at the edges and causing sparkles of light to twinkle in his eyes. “Glad we’re on the same page, then. Now, on to rudely bust down Phineas’ door!” He exclaimed, making her ‘roll’ her eyes as she set the coordinates to Phineas’ Orbital Lab.


	5. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting Phineas Vernon Welles for the first time is always... an interesting experience, to say the least. Much less when Aspen brings his whole crew by unannounced to clear up just what is going on. Phineas is forcibly adopted into their ragtag family, whether he likes it or not, and tensions between Max and Aspen come to a head as Max finally realizes just how wanted a man his Captain is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me just say: I love writing the crew. Nothing will ever amuse me more than the like 2 braincells that float between all of them at any given time. I also like to think that Phineas ends up being forced to adopt them and become the long-suffering grandpa to seven idiots. Not including ADA and SAM, because both have infinitely more braincells than any of the other crew members. Some of the dialogue was inspired by in-game banter, with my own spin on things.

When they landed in Phineas' docking bay, Aspen gathered everyone at the door, still a bit nervous about bringing them all at once. Phineas was jumpy, and more than likely wouldn't appreciate it too much. "So, uh, when we get there, don't touch anything. Not for any real reason other than more than likely you'll be touching old, liquified cystypig." Thinking a moment, he shrugged. "Aaaand some of the seals on the windows aren't exactly… tight. So don't lean on the windows or tap them too hard. Watch your feet, Phineas has wires out all over the place, and you might be eating metal grate before you know it if you're not careful." Frowning, he scratched the back of his head. "Uhh… and maybe don't be too loud? Phineas startles easily."

Snorting, Max crossed his arms. "Sounds like a lovely little place." He said sarcastically before rolling his eyes, letting out an exasperated sigh from his nose. "I take it he doesn't know we're coming with?"

"If I told him, he'd probably lock down the bays before we could dock." Another shrug. "He doesn't trust easily, and, well… he likes his plausible deniability." To be quite honest, Aspen was still hesitant to let them meet Phineas at all. But there was no going back now.

"So, like, do we need aliases or something? Because not gonna lie, that'd be cool as fuck." Felix's eyes sparkled, hints of gold highlighting his chestnut irises in the low light. "Can I be like, Drop Kick Millstone? Or something awesome like that?"

"Felix, I think putting your name in an alias kind of defeats the purpose." Nyoka grinned, nursing her morning bottle of Zero Gee. "But if we're doing codenames, I call Rapt Slayer."

Giggling, Parvati looked between the two. "I think they're both nice, in their own ways. Though Nyoka's right, maybe putting your actual name in a codename isn't the best idea, Felix." Since meeting Aspen and the others, she had come out of her shell a little bit, and now she was pretty comfortable around them all. Even Max, more so than when he ran the mission in Edgewater.

"Yeah, I can workshop that one a bit. Ellie's is obviously Doc. Parvati's should be like. Green Thumb. Or a flower or something." Felix pointed out to Parvati. "I mean, your room is covered in plants that all have names."

Shifting from foot to foot, Parvati's cheeks darkened and her smile turned just a bit embarrassed. "Aww, c'mon, now. I just take care of 'em right. They just need someone to pay attention to 'em. Especially Petunia. She's finicky."

"Oh! I know! Sapphire Rose!" Grinning like a dope, Felix was obviously very proud of his codename. "Like, you remind me of those flowers you see in Earth stories, roses, ya know? They're super pretty and have a really nice smell, and they look nondescript, but they also have thorns! You're like a Mock-Cinnamon Bun, all soft and sweet, but you fight real good, especially since you've been taking lessons from Nyoka! Oh, I mean, Rapt Slayer."

Nyoka furrowed her brows. "What about the Sapphire part?"

"I just thought it sounded cool. And synth-sapphires are pretty." Giving a shrug, Felix tucked his hands into his pants pockets. "Saw a couple in a window, once."

"Well, I like it. Pretty fitting." Nyoka replied, taking a swig from the bottle in her hand.

Aspen didn't think it was possible for Parvati to flush any deeper, but she did, rubbing the back of her neck. "Aww, stop you guys, you're making me all fuzzy inside."

"Would Max be 'Daddy Issues'?" Ellie suddenly quipped, taking a long drag from her cigarette, pointedly looking at Aspen and grinning crookedly at him. Felix barked a laugh while Nyoka tried to hide her snicker behind her bottle, Parvati catching her snort before it could morph into laughter.

"Absolutely fucking not." Max huffed, chest slightly puffing out in indignation.

"Yeah, you're right… I still like Vicky better, anyway." Shrugging in faux-helplessness, she hit the butt on her cigarette and stubbed it out on the bottom on her shoe, delighting in the way Max's features pulled up into an exasperated grimace.

"I'm surrounded by children." Mumbling under his breath, Max tucked his hands behind his back, waiting for the ship's door to open. Parvati giggled again as she pressed her lips into a thin line to keep from full-blown laughter, Ellie making a face at Max when he turned around.

Aspen smiled despite his apprehension, before he opened the door and led them into Phineas' docking bay. He knew Phineas could see him and the others from his monitors in his safe room, but the speakers set up around the bay stayed off as they approached the doors, their footsteps the only sound breaking the tense silence that had gathered between them. Phineas was probably absorbed in research, or else he'd be yelling at him through the speakers. When they reached the door to the lab, Felix looked under his feet at the 'Welcome' mat, snorting.

"Seems really welcoming in here to me." Felix tittered with Ellie, who had pulled out another cigarette and was rolling it between her fingers.

"Guess he got tired of cleaning up after everyone's shoes, huh?" Ellie said sarcastically, making Felix laugh.

When the doors slid open, a voice crackled out from the intercom on Phineas' safe room. "Ah, Mr. Adams, back so soon? Was it really  _ that  _ easy to get to Hiram--" Cutting off as he looked up, Phineas blinked, eyes darting between Aspen and each of the members of his crew. He looked absolutely terrified and angry at the same time, and Aspen wondered how he could glare so furiously at him, while also keeping a close eye on his crew. But, well, he was Phineas. That explained it automatically. "... I don't recall giving you permission to throw a party in my--and I must remind you,  _ again--top secret, Orbital Lab, Mr. Adams." _

Aspen flinched a bit at the sour tone in Phineas' voice, feeling Max lay a calming hand on his upper back and taking his place beside his Captain. The steady pressure of Max's hand gave him confidence, enough for him to stand tall despite feeling very, very small at the moment. "I trust them, Phineas, they're my friends, my crew. I already gave them a run down to be careful." Flipping his hair out of his eyes, he gave Phineas that disarming smile he was known around the colony for, knowing even Phineas couldn't stand to have it turned at him for long. "Besides, they deserve to know what we're fighting for, and I think you'd be the better one to explain. You know so much more about all this than I do."

Phineas harrumphed, shifting from foot to foot. "Flattery, of course… I should have known you'd be that under-handed, Mr. Adams." A quirk of his lips let Aspen know he wasn't too upset, and he waved his hand with a shrug. "It is also very possible I'm being a tad rude to my… guests. Thirty years virtually alone can have that effect. I suppose you  _ are  _ right..." Standing and straightening his coat, he looked out at every one and seemed to have a moment of nerves, running his hand anxiously through his thinning hair. "Alright, fine, fine. Everyone gather around, and I'll explain."

Parvati was the first in the crew to speak, letting out an astounded laugh. "Wow! Look at all this, is… is that an old hibernation chamber? And all these automechanicals… do, do you repair this place yourself, Mr. Phineas? Because obviously she's got some age on her, but she's been taken care of real nicely." Eyes sparkling at all the mechanisms around her, she had clasped her hands in front of her in barely-concealed excitement.

"Thank you, young lady, it's a lot of work to keep it up, but your enthusiasm means a lot." Phineas didn't seem quite to know what to do with the attention focused on him, rubbing at his neck.

Felix stared around at everything with wide eyes, because even though it was functionally no different from any other Corporate Station they'd come across, the way Phineas had made it his own fascinated him to no end. He had barely been listening in favor of staring gawk-eyed at everything around them. "Wow… I haven't seen this much paper outside of The Board's offices in… well, ever." He breathed, mouth pulled up into an awestruck smile, pausing to try to decipher a note Phineas had left himself.

"Yes, I find it rather hard to, ah, let's say, gather my thoughts when I've been awake on caffenoids for forty-eight hours. I tend to write down whatever comes to mind so I'll remember it afterwards." Watching Felix like a Pteroray, he reluctantly tore his eyes from him to face Aspen. "This must be that young man you hired, quite bold and brash wasn't he?"

"I have no idea what that last word meant, but yeah, my name's--"

"No! I don't want to know your names. But I'm very happy Aspen has found a crew he can trust." Cutting him off, Phineas stood a bit straighter and sighed, once again meeting eyes with every crew member. "Law, where to even begin…" It was damn near impossible to explain everything for the uninitiated. Especially to laypersons, which seemed to be everyone Aspen had hired. A rag-tag group that somehow seemed like they belonged together, the young, tan-skinned mechanic staring longingly at Bubbles, as if wanting to run and pet the animal. One, a darker skinned woman that towered above the others, clad in the garb of a professional hunter, was drinking a beer as she locked eyes with Phineas. Another was an OSI priest, who seemed… close with the young man, giving Phineas pause to ponder about their relationship. The other two were more than likely the pirate Doctor that Aspen had described to him, and the young rabble-rouser he picked up on The Groundbreaker. All were nameless, but Aspen had described them in such vivid detail, he felt like he knew them already.

"The Hope would be a good start." Aspen reminded him.

"Yes, well. How to unpack  _ that  _ entire endeavor?" Looking between the expectant eyes, lingering slightly at their young Captain who stood at the fold of them all, yet still apart by his own volition. "I'm sure you've all heard of The Hope in one form or another. Whatever you may have heard, whatever  _ The Board _ has pressed… The Hope is very real. Your Captain is living proof of that." The disdain in his voice was evident when he said The Board.

"I KNEW IT!" Felix suddenly exclaimed, making Phineas jump and Aspen chuckle good-naturedly. "Boss always said he thought it was real!"

"Phin, you're getting ahead of yourself again." Aspen grinned nervously, cheeks turning pink as the attention focused on him, Felix staring star-struck at him as always.

"Right, yes, well. It is indeed true that The Hope was lost en route to Halcyon, supposed to arrive in ten years like her sister, The Groundbreaker." Shaking his head, Phineas sighed, heart still aching for the colonists. "However, something happened. We're still not sure what. But the ship was knocked out of Skip Jump, and forced to complete its journey at sub-light speeds. The colonists have been frozen for around seventy years." Swallowing, he felt that cold feeling overtake him, that creeping chill that came when he thought of The Hope's colonists in any capacity. "Though, now, The Hope has long been recovered. The Board found it drifting at the edge of Halcyon, and decided to leave it there, instead of pursuing any way to revive the colonists… but that's a problem in and of itself, you see." Scratching his cheek, Phineas got that almost distant look in his eye that told Aspen he was lost in thought. "After a certain amount of time in cryosleep, an… unfortunate side effect occurs due to the freezing of the cells. It's called explosive cell death, but you essentially liquefy due to your cellular walls breaking down because the ice crystals that formed are melting--"

"Phin." Aspen interrupted. "They, uh, don't need to know the gritty details… it'd suffice to say you'll melt."

Nodding, Phineas caught himself from his tangent before he started explaining in achingly colorful detail. "Of course, of course. Anyway, it's quite a gruesome way to go. I came by the bounty on my head for pursuing ways to revive the colonists… and," Here, he let slip a proud and genuine smile as he locked eyes with Aspen. "After thirty years on the run from the Board, I succeeded in concocting a chemical mix to stabilize the colonists after extended hibernation. I broke onto The Hope, stole one of the colonists, and brought him back here to work on him. His name is Aspen Adams, and he is your Captain. He and I are trying to find the location of a certain chemical that I need to save the rest of The Hope's colonists."

A thick silence fell over Aspen's crew as they processed this information, making his heart skip a beat. The tension was so palpable, you could almost  _ feel  _ it on the skin, like a heavy mist. Nyoka was nodding, as if confirming suspicions about Aspen to herself, while Parvati looked like she was looking at her Captain's ghost. Max's hand suddenly got heavy on his back, and Aspen could feel the tension zipping through his body, realizing for the first time just what Aspen was involved in. Ellie, on the other hand, had a crooked grin on her face.

"Always knew there was something about you, Cap." She commented, shrugging. "Seemed like you were from out of town."

Jaw dropping, Felix stared in awe between his Captain and Phineas, not sure which to focus on first. "That… Boss! That's amazing! You're from  _ Earth!?" _ Letting out an astounded laugh, he shook his head. "Wow. Talk about a complete retcon--"

"Mr. Millstone, this is not one of your damned  _ serials!" _ Max snapped, making Phineas look helplessly at Aspen. For some reason, the young man trying to make light of the situation made a spike of fury surge forth in Max's chest. This wasn't a joke, it wasn't some scripted Aetherwave serial, this wasn't a contrived plot made up in a room of Byzantine elites. This was real. Their Captain could be condemned to death solely for the crime of being revived by Welles, much less for what they had been running around the colony and doing thus far. And  _ if  _ they got their hands on Aspen,  _ if  _ The Board captured him alive… well, human experimentation is practically a hobby in this colony. Max had no doubt that if The Board learned of Aspen's true identity, they would itch to vivisect him, peer inside at the changes Welles' chemical mix brought upon him. For some reason, the thought made him furious, and even more curiously… terrified.

"Hey, hey. Max, settle down. He's not hurting anyone." Placing a hand on Max's elbow, Aspen looked pointedly at Felix when he went to argue. "Besides, he's a kid, Max. It's alright." Abruptly, Felix shut his mouth, but poked out his lip in a pout at Aspen calling him a kid.

"Wow. All this time I thought  _ you  _ were the cradle-robber, Max. Turns out it's the other way around." Ellie snarked, baring her teeth and stepping half in front of Felix, between him and Max. Despite Ellie not wanting anything to do with friends or the like, she always got ridiculously protective of Felix, and knew which buttons to press with Max to get him to back off.

_ "Ellie!"  _ Aspen scolded, watching Max let out a huff of breath through his nose and turn on his heel, stomping back out the door to the docking bay. Groaning as the door shut behind him with that mechanical sweeping sound that  _ everything  _ seemed to have in this colony, Aspen ran a hand through his hair. "I'll be right back, and  _ please  _ leave Max alone, guys. Something's bothering him, I think."

"Yeah, well, he should find another surgeon to remove  _ that _ stick up his ass, because I find that I might nick an artery if I ever try." It wasn't quite a snarl, but Aspen knew that even  _ that  _ was holding back for Ellie. Aspen knew that Ellie was right, Max had no reason to snap at Felix the way he did. Especially now that Felix had the  _ slight  _ expression of a kicked canid pup, murmuring off to the side with Parvati, her hand resting on his upper arm.

"I agree with Ellie, here, Cap. That was pretty uncalled for." Nyoka met his eyes, and sighed, brow furrowing. That damn preacher was more trouble than he was worth, to her, anyway. "But you're right, he does seem tense. Go talk to him. I'm sure we can keep the good doctor entertained with questions for a bit." Smirking at Phineas, she crossed her arms, obviously gearing up for a long chat with the helpless scientist. "So, you're Phineas, huh? The guy who hired me to guide the Captain around Monarch? Gotta hand it to ya, Welles, this place is  _ definitely  _ hidden."

Aspen didn't stay to listen to Phineas stumble over trying to call him back and talk to Nyoka at the same time, instead jogging out to the bay, where Max had escaped off to. The aforementioned Vicar was standing at the railings around the lower floors, hands clamped around the metal railings so hard his knuckles were white. He only turned around briefly to see who it was, but the tension seemed to drain a bit from his shoulders when he saw it was Aspen. Striding over, Aspen leaned his forearms against the railing, looking out in the dim lighting. For a second, neither spoke, before Aspen broke the silence. "What was that about?"

Pulling in a deep breath, Max let it back out in a long sigh through his nose. "I think Mr. Millstone should take this more seriously, is all." His hazel eyes were far away in thought, and after a minute he ran a hand over his face and hung his head. "This could kill any one of us, and he… he treats it as if it's a game! I don't even think he realizes that this is real life, not one of his damn Aetherwave serials."

Letting out a puff of a laugh, Aspen nudged him with his shoulder. "Max, he does. It's just…" Leaning against him, Aspen sighed himself, trying to think of the right way to put it. He understood Max's frustration, even though he  _ also  _ understood Felix's behavior, and he pursed his lips as he tried to mediate the two opposing ideologies. "Everything is… big, overwhelming, frightening… it's bigger than us, and that's hard to come to terms with. So, Felix writes his extremely silly serial. It gives him something to do, so he isn't constantly overwhelmed by what's going on, and angry or scared." Looking up at Max, he smiled gently at him. "It makes him feel better, sorta like how your faith reassures you. Just let him have that."

Max thought for a moment, before meeting eyes with him, realizing just now how well his Captain knew his crew. Even if he didn't agree with Max, he still managed to put it in a way palpable to him. That in and of itself was a kind action, as Max knew he wasn't the  _ nicest  _ man around, but his Captain still made an effort to understand him. "I have a hard time believing they're in anyway similar, but I'll try." As the silence descended again, he felt thankful for his Captain's company, the warm pressure of Aspen's shoulder against his. It was reassuring him, somehow. Of what, he didn't quite know. "Captain…" Where should he even start? There was so much he wanted to ask his Captain, so much he yearned to know about Earth and Aspen in general. "What was it like on Earth?" It was a rather bland question, but it was the only thing he could think to ask at the moment.

Aspen chuckled. "A lot different. There were similarities, but there you were expected to be an individual, pursue what makes you happy…" Shrugging, he sighed. "There was a lot of stuff wrong with it… but it was home. Jobs weren't your sole purpose in life. We were… some form of free." Taking a deep breath, he smiled. "Free to express yourself through art or words, without a filter, without censor. Free to, to… fall in love, and have a family, however big or little you wanted it. And you raised your children, at home. You didn't send them away to school unless you wanted to, and they sure as Hell didn't go to work at thirteen. Sixteen was when you started getting part-time jobs, but eighteen was the legal working age. Some didn't work immediately then, either, some went to college to prolong their education a few more years and get a degree."

Thinking for a moment, he frowned. "That sounds terribly unproductive. How did anything get done?"

Giving a true laugh, Aspen leaned further into his side. "Not a lot actually got done, if I'm being honest. Halcyon and Earth both have some of the same issues, but they're vastly different, still. It's really hard to explain, but… I will tell you one thing; killing wasn't on an everyday person's to-do list." Sighing, he looked out into the lower levels of the bay, suddenly solemn as he thought about his life back home. It had been far from perfect, but it was a Hell of a lot more peaceful than this. There were times the world broke out into war or riots surged across the globe, but nothing like Halcyon.

Tentatively, Max wrapped an arm around his shoulders, letting his hand rest on Aspen's upper arm. Things slowly had started to click into place. That's why he had excused himself to get sick, back in Edgewater with Parvati. It had probably been the first time he had ever killed, or close to it, at least. And it was why killing always seemed to drain him, leaving him exhausted and holed up in his quarters for a while afterwards. "It must weigh on you, Captain. Having to adjust to this lifestyle so quickly." He murmured.

Aspen felt his cheeks heat up, the only sensation he was truly aware of, the pressure of Max's hand on his shoulder. "Y… Yeah…" It wasn't terribly clever, but it was all he could push out around the rising feeling in his chest, a lump forming in his throat.

"As always, Captain, if you need spiritual counseling… or just to talk, my door is always open." Giving him a squeeze, Max averted his eyes, trying not to think too hard about the intimacy of this position. Max had never been one for true emotional closeness, or comforting others. His position as a Vicar was merely a conduit through which he could decipher The Plan, though he did try to give good advice where it was needed. He had once told Aspen that Ms. Holcomb suffered from a soft heart, and he had flashed that vacant grin, asking incredibly sincerely;  _ can she get that looked at by a sawbones? _ At the time, he wasn't quite sure it had been a joke. Now, he had the sneaking suspicion he wasn't asking for Parvati's sake. Every tragedy that was completely normal in Halcyon, his Captain felt deeply, like a physical wound. Graham. Nyoka's friends. But for some inexplicable reason, it seemed almost natural to try and comfort him, even if both were tense as they leaned into each other. This was possibly the most intimate moment they had ever shared together, and Max felt the urge to prolong it as long as he could.

"Th… Thanks, Max." Aspen murmured, trying to settle his excited heart. He wasn't sure what feeling was currently rushing through his veins, but it was starting to make his chest ache. Though he decided to tamp it down and bury his face in Max's shoulder. This felt nice. Even though he had human contact, like wrestling with Felix, this felt… different. Almost new. "Are you upset I kept this from you?"

"Not at all." Hesitating, he slowly let himself lean against Aspen's head, relaxing a fraction as his Captain reciprocated the contact. "But… I would prefer to know next time you were in real danger of being spirited away to a re-education center and ending up a science experiment of The Board. I do believe ADA would eject me out the airlock if I asked her to fly me to Scylla without you around."

Aspen let out a snorty giggle. "Or she'd fly you and then leave you there. At least you'd be able to see the Hermit."

"Ever the optimist, Captain. One of the things we love about you." Chuckling, Max pulled back a minute to meet his gaze, noticing the red rush to Aspen's cheeks. Absentmindedly, Max brushed a stray hair from his Magenta eyes, thumb lingering a second too long along his cheekbone.

"Max…?" Aspen breathed, Max's thumb gently caressing his cheek.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asked, pausing to search for any signs his Captain was uncomfortable.

"No…" Leaning into Max's touch, Aspen felt like little bolts of lightning were singing across his skin wherever Max's thumb brushed against his face. "It's… it's ok, it's … nice." He mumbled, feeling Max's hand gently cup his cheek, slowly guiding him forward as the hand on his shoulder dipped to wrap around Aspen. Almost as if he was made of glass, Max tentatively pressed his lips to Aspen's forehead, thumb rubbing invisible circles in the space just under his magenta eyes. Aspen wasn't sure his cheeks could get any redder, and he wrapped his arms around Max, letting his eyes flutter shut.

At this point, Max wasn't sure what he felt for his Captain. If anything at all. All he knew was that this felt right, holding Aspen in the empty bay, feeling him relax as Max wrapped both arms loosely around him. Whatever The Plan had in store for them, Max was sure that it had brought them together for a reason. To ease the pain of his Captain's soft heart, perhaps? Who knew. Certainly not Max. But he let that fall away as the Captain squeezed him so hard it made him grunt, before he eased back up and looked at Max. "Better?" Max asked.

"Why're you asking me?" Aspen laughed. "I wasn't the one who almost bit Felix's head off." Tucking his head underneath Max's chin, Aspen let out a content sigh. "But… yeah. Let's go back before they talk Phineas to death."

Max chuckled, reluctantly releasing his Captain, but keeping a hand in the small of his back as they walked back to the lab. "I daresay Mr. Millstone has bombarded him with so many questions by now, Dr. Welles would be relieved." Stopping just before the closed laboratory doors, Max turned back to his Captain, who mirrored the action. A soft smile shone up at him, and before Max himself knew what was happening, he stooped closer. Their noses brushed as he paused, giving his Captain time to pull away. Instead, Aspen met him halfway.

It was short, it was sweet, and it didn't last more than a moment. But to Aspen, it was more than enough to take his breath away, slightly giddy and dazed as they pulled away from each other. He couldn't shake the dopey grin that came to his face as Max reached for the door controls, making his hazel eyes dart down at Aspen in amusement, brushing his knuckles against his cheek right before the metal doors slid open.

Phineas, Ellie, and Nyoka were gathered around the intercom, discussing the details of the chemicals he needed and why they were trekking up a mountain to find Hiram. It seemed Phineas' apprehension had diminished some, as he was animatedly gesticulating with his hands, and both Ellie and Nyoka seemed just the least bit lost in his speech. Though he still stole glances to Felix and Parvati, who had finished staring in awe at the lab around them, and now sat on the floor with Bubbles. The cystypig had flopped on the floor between Parvati's legs as they both cooed over her, grunting happily as Felix played with her ears and patted her belly. Both were giggling and laughing at the animal, talking in a low baby-talk voice at her, and she was very obviously enjoying it.

Ellie shot Max a poisonous glare when they returned, but furrowed her brows as she noticed the flush on her Captain's cheeks, and the self-satisfied smirk across Max's features. It dawned on her all at once, and she snorted and grinned, though it was more insidious than anything. Aspen could tell she knew  _ something  _ was up, from the way she caught his eye and raised an eyebrow, nudging Nyoka and bobbing her head towards the Captain. "Hey, Mom and Dad are back." He guessed she had decided to let it go for now and stowaway the little details she had caught.

And it was that moment that Aspen knew despite whatever had happened to him up until then, this is where he was supposed to be. Where he belonged. These people who had come from all walks of life, they were his family, now. The future he was facing down didn't look quite so daunting, and he felt a strange sense of pride as he watched Nyoka and Ellie titter together about him and Max, while Felix and Parvati discussed whether a bow or bowtie would look better on Bubbles. Phineas had wandered off to check some numbers on his computer, but chuckled and shook his head as he noticed Aspen and Max had returned together.

For the first time since he had stepped foot in Halcyon, he was truly, unequivocally happy to be there.


End file.
